A Book Review: Disconnected - Parenting Teens in a MySpace World by Chap Clark and Dee Clark

In this book, the Clarks address the issue of parenting teens in the 21st century. Like in Chap Clark's book, Hurt 2.0, they describe in-depth the development and characteristics of early, mid and late adolescence. This book is written from a Christian perspective using Scripture freely and presenting solutions from a Biblical perspective. Our authors direct this book to Christian parents.

This book follows the first edition of Hurt (2004) and precedes Hurt 2.0 (2011) which were directed at school and community workers. This Baker book publication was published in 2007.

Chap Clark teaches youth, family and culture at Fuller Theological Seminary, is president of ParenTeen Seminars, Senior editor of" Youthworker Journal" and author of more than fifteen books. His wife, Dee Clark is a family therapist and coauthor of two other books. Together, they have raised three children into young adulthood.

In Part One - Understanding Today's Adolescent Journey, the Clarks address how the journey has changed since we were teenagers. Early in the 20th century, there were children and adults. By the middle of the century the transition between children and adults was no more than five years. Today teens endure a transition that lasts as long as 15 years or more. While many adults of our day have a hard time recognizing the difference, the Clarks make the case that as a society our youth suffer from "systemic abandonment". By "systemic abandonment", they mean that parents spend more money on things and spend more time taking children to events, but do not spend quality time with their children. Chap and Dee say that we "have led our children into an environment where they have never been more ill-equipped to handle the world we have handed them." P. 72

Adolescents have three tasks to perform as a part of "Individuation"- answering these questions: Who am I? What power do I really have? Where do I fit? According to social scientists, adolescence begins with the average age of puberty in a community (biology) and ends when they have achieved "individuation" (culture). Pre 1900 puberty averaged at age 14+ and individuation occurred at age 16. In 1980 puberty averaged at age 13 and individuation occurred at age 18. Finally, in 2007 the average age of puberty was 12 and individuation occurred in the mid-20s. p. 63 Now, puberty may begin as early as 11 years old.

Part Two - Parenting Through the Seasons explores different seasons of life. Quoting Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 the authors make the point that there are different seasons in the lives of our children. Our authors indicate that parents have five tasks: understanding, showing compassion, "boundarying," charting/guiding and launching into adulthood. In four successive chapters they present childhood, early adolescence (middle school), mid-adolescence (high school) and late adolescence (young or emerging adults). They present an illustration of the process in the form of a tight rope; childhood and adulthood are on either side (dependence and interdependence) while adolescence is a long tightrope where they are alone to work on the tasks of individuation (independence). During that time these teens need family stability and safety which includes a home where the parents are in charge and, they add, a home that is fun.

Mid-adolescents respond to abandonment by forming their own "underground family" with their friends. Chap and Dee spend a chapter contrasting what teens say, how parents interpret it and what the teens really mean. I am a bit hesitant to endorse this entire chapter, but what I do take away from this chapter is that we need to listen to our young people and continue the conversation to ascertain what they really mean. They may not even know what they mean.

Finally in the last chapter, the Clarks discuss their model of successful parenting - Parenting As Partnership - The Three Levels of Partnership. Using 1 Corinthians 12:27, they recognize that as Christians, parents are a part of the Body of Christ. As an individual we "partner with Christ"; as a couple we "partner with our spouse - both of whom are personally "partnering with Christ". When children arrive in the home the next level of partnership appears. Finally, they recommend forming a group of families who are accountable to each other and have a loving interest in all the members of the group. This is how they see parenting children "taking a village." When Chap referenced this in Hurt 2.0, I was a bit hesitant because Hurt and Hurt 2.0 were directed at the community and schools. However, in this book, addressing the parents who have the option of including or excluding other families in their level of partnership, I am more comfortable with this idea as it is based on Scriptural principles. He called these other individuals / families "soulmates" and emphasizes that they are "soulmates" of both spouses, not just one of them. They conclude with the following:

1. "Each parent must seek to know, love, and follow Jesus Christ.

2. Both parents must be a cohesive and impenetrable unit of strength and love.

3. The family must be surrounded by intimate friends in community, or soul mates and

4. Single parent families need soul mates." P. 192-193

My concerns regarding how Dr. Clark viewed family and church (review of Hurt 2.0) have been largely relieved. In addition to addressing Christian parents in Disconnected, he has taken this model to the community and school leaders in the form of the 5:1 project - five adults in a positive relationship with each teen( http://www.parenteen.org ). Certainly in a Christian context, we have more reason to believe that God will be pleased to bless our efforts, and yet salvation is of the Lord. Also, the Clarks have spent some time with the cause and have put forth some practical ways that can help parents, especially Christian parents, to establish a home that nurtures our young.

Maggie Dail offers online services through the Center for Neuro Development and Family Academy Online. She and her husband, Ronnie, make their home in Bartlesville, Oklahoma. The Center is affiliated with Academy Northwest and Family Academy. They home schooled two foster sons and have worked with home schooling families for over 20 years. Maggie earned her M.A. in Special Education in 1989 and has taught for nearly 40 years.

Homeschool and neurodevelopmental assessments, brain training and other services - by Skype / Phone / E-mail - http://www.centerforneurodevelopment.com

Academy Northwest is a state approved private extension program for homeschoolers and accredited by the Northwest Accreditation Commission. Family Academy offers an online parent course: Able to Teach

Financial Book Review: The Bank On Yourself Revolution by Pamela Yellen

"The Bank On Yourself strategy gives you a rare combination of guarantees, safety, liquidity, and control. Your money grows by a guaranteed and predictable amount every year, and that growth gets better every year you have it," Pamela Yellen- "The Bank on Yourself Revolution"

Several years have passed since the publication of "Bank On Yourself," Pamela Yellen's first attempt at articulating for a wide audience the benefits of using specially-designed whole life insurance in financial planning. Since that time, the ever-fluid, ever- chimerical world of personal finance has grown even more unfathomable and unpredictable.

As a Bank On Yourself authorized advisor, I believe that a sequel to the original Bank On Yourself book was long overdue. This is why I was so pleased to learn of the publication of this second, more comprehensive discussion of a truly unique cash management system.

In the sequel, The Bank On Yourself Revolution, Yellen has gone to considerable effort to deconstruct the Bank On Yourself method in a way that makes it even more accessible and understandable to the average person. She lays out a concise, solid, yet still passionate case for using specially-designed, dividend-paying whole life insurance policies as vehicles for preserving and growing wealth. When put together correctly, she says, these policies build up cash value as quickly as possible and provide unparalleled safety and security.

Yellen explains that a person can make tax-free withdrawals and loans from the accumulated cash value in the policy to finance large purchases, such as college tuition, automobiles, and cash-producing real estate. You use your policy and are able to pay yourself back, with the loan secured by the death benefit. This idea, which has been around in various forms for well over 150 years, is referred to by some as "becoming your own finance company." Yellen does a good job of explaining the ideas behind Bank On Yourself without losing the reader in a fog of insurance-speak or marketing hype.

Implicit in her explanations is the understanding that anyone wanting to use the system laid out in BOYR should do their own due diligence. It is definitely not for everyone.

In The Bank On Yourself Revolution it is evident that Yellen has put a lot more thought and effort into the content and layout of the book, making navigation from topic to topic easier and keeping her commentary focused and free of anything that could be perceived as excessive verbiage. She does an admirable job of making the ideas presented clear and easy to understand, even for those who have little financial education.

The Bank On Yourself Revolution introduces us to some old school financial concepts that Yellen admits aren't "sexy," but which work, such as the "10-10-10" money management method and the common sense idea of not having much debt. She makes a strong case for designer whole life polices over both term insurance and the always trendy indexed universal life (IUL) policies

Nice additions to this volume are the "takeaways" at the end of chapters which give the reader nuggets of information designed to be easy to grasp, retain and implement. Yellen also includes stories of real-life users of the system ranging from housewives to entrepreneurs to former professional athletes. Such anecdotes obviously have value, especially to financial professionals who are introducing the concept to their clients for the first time.

People feel better knowing that "real people" just like themselves are finding success with Bank On Yourself.

The Bank On Yourself Revolution makes for an entertaining read and is a worthy contribution to a growing body of evidence supporting the wisdom of using permanent life insurance in financial planning. If you are someone who is looking for alternatives to banks, Wall Street, and finance companies, this book will help you understand one such alternative- Bank On Yourself.

For more in-depth discussion of the topics explored in The Bank on Yourself Revolution, please visit the Living Wealthy Financial site.

Awaken the Giant Within

Awaken the giant within; I think this is an amazing book for restructuring your life. It is a book I first read 20 years ago, but taking it on holiday recently I found it had a much stronger impact this time. They say when the student is ready the tutor will be found!

You are shown how by changing your values and beliefs you can change your thinking mode in an instant, and how to make these changes permanent. He also advocates small daily improvements to take your life from where it is today to where you would like to take it.

The book is about your values beliefs and rules and how to realign your behavior by reordering your values and how by changing your beliefs and rules you can overcome any problems you have.

There are exercises to illustrate his theories and you will be blown away when you see how by just changing the order of your values on a list you can focus on different areas and completely change what is important to you.

The only downside of the book to me was the fact it is huge with 530 pages but it is easy reading and if changing your life or human behavior is something that interests you, you will accept the journey of change.

There are chapters showing how people have changed using the techniques, when they have attended his personal development seminars. Anthony Robbins changed his own life by learning the techniques and now spends his life teaching others. He was a millionaire by the time he was 24, but a few years previously he had been overweight depressed and feeling a failure in all areas of his life.

So if there is anything in your life you are not happy with, or you don't feel you are reaching your full potential in your business or personal life, I suggest you do what I did and take the book on holiday with you or set aside some serious reading time. If you Google Tony Robbins you will find he also wrote other best-selling books and made motivational tapes, and appears on TV and radio shows in America.

So whatever your dreams are, gaining courage to bring adventure into your life, improving family relationships, getting rid of habits like excessive drinking or overeating. Or maybe starting your own business this could be the stepping stone you have been looking for. Visit your local library of book store and get yourself a copy, I'm sure you will find it as fascinating and rewarding as I did.

My name is Anne - If starting a business is one of your dreams:

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What Is the Green Foods Bible All About?

There are green drinks everywhere. We have heard since we were children how important it is to eat our greens. As kids, we often wrinkled our nose or fed the greens to the dog. As we grow into adults, we learn that eating the right kinds of food is vital to our health. The old saying "you are what you eat" rings true with our health and wellness. In order to be healthy, our bodies need the right nutrition. Many of us eat too many processed and fast food that our bodies cannot fight disease and illness. Our bodies are natural from the start, feeding them un-natural foods causes the body to be unable to fight off illness and obesity.

David Sandoval's Green Foods Bible is packed with information on green super foods our bodies crave. Some green foods are better for our bodies than others are. The Green Foods Bible is your "go to" for all things green and super.

David Sandoval is renowned public speaker who has dedicated the last twenty years researching nutrition and developing products to make it easier for us to care for our bodies by giving them the right nutrition. He developed a "Plant Based Nutrition Program" that is covered in depth in his book. This book is not an advertisement, but rather a nutrition guide for better health.

Though this book, Sandoval gives complete details on the nutrition benefits of feeding your body green, super foods. From leafy greens to kelp, every green edible has particular nutrients that the body needs to be healthy. There are even home preparation instructions for fixing up these greens so they actually taste good.

Illness, cancers and other diseases are on the up rise. Green foods can often re boot the body's defenses to better fight off illness, including many cancers. The body needs green super foods to defend itself against disease. Without the right tools for defense, illness spreads and often morphs into disease. Western diets are often void of the nutrition provided from green super foods.

"Many of the diseases for which modern medicine has no cure are the result of complex, extremely gradual changes at the cellular level. Those changes are a direct consequence of a lifelong diet made mostly of processed, sugary, fatty foods. An intensive plant-based diet program is the fastest and most effective way to rejuvenate the body at the cellular level and to give it the raw materials it requires to rebuild itself and function most efficiently" (39).

Following the advice of the Green Foods Bible, Sandoval believes we can all be healthier and live longer, more active lives. Providing our bodies with whole food nutrition and knowing where our food comes from is the key to health and wellness.